Woman Yesterday, Woman Today: What Next?

It’s been quite some time now that I stopped writing in my blog and guess what it is!!!! It is due to my laziness to write. Today some how I got the mood to write and here I am back!

Of late saw two good plays from two different theatre groups in my campus and these plays made audience to think about the issues from the feminist standpoint. The play catches the eye of audience due to their performance and for few outstanding elements into its production. Center for Culture and Media Study organized a play called MARGINS for their annual fest. This was enacted by a theater group named Pandies who recognize themselves in the left feminist ideology. This play was directed by Sanjay Kumar. Here the main critique lies in the fact that it’s difficult for the common audience to understand the way in which the story unfolds and expresses narratives.

The play was about a Muslim woman and it portraits the reality of life and her struggle for the justice. Indian culture is evolved within the context of gender, religion, caste and class hierarchy and minority sector is excluded from the mainstream society. MARGINS tried to link the mainstream critiques of the society from diverse peripheral of Muslim women’s perspective.

Summary of Plot: The narrator of the story Begaum, a Muslim woman from economically marginalized section, delineated the story of her daughter Anjum. Anjum got murdered in 1994 in Nizamuddin. Anjum got married to her mother’s sister’s son and continuously had been threatened by her husband for dowry. Her father-in-law also kept a bad eye on her. Anjum had a brother-in-law who was very possessively in love with her from childhood and was not in his good state of mind. The questions arose what happened that night? Who was the murder and what happens at the end of all struggles? I felt it was a challenging, innovative and interesting issue to be addressed. The play was enacted in such a manner where the character of Anjum was not shown in the play; nevertheless she became the central character of the story.

Same theatre group showed two 5-10 mint duration skits on the issues within the periphery of women. First one was on the fantasy word of 'Love' and second one was on the conjugal violence. The first plot is about the relationship between a boy and girl and the whole notion of commitment in relationships. They were in a live- in relationship and after sometime boy just disappears from her life and both go in their own path and marry different people as their life partner! But what the girl feels was that she was cheated and the question which keeps coming to her was what mistake I did in this relationship. For which she is not having an answer! She expected long term relationship but he didn’t have such intensions. And another question that rose was to whom we (women) can trust.

Second skit was on conjugal violence and sexual slavery a woman goes through in her family. Husband and in-laws crave for having a male child so husband forces her to have sex with his father and for business deals with the business partner. A dialogue in the skit which surely made many of us to think beyond the boundaries of marriage is, husband asking the wife “ I love you and every night I make love with you, we fight and then we make up” Then wife responds saying” I don’t know which hurts me more is it making love or making up”? I must mention that girl did brilliant performance!! Post play discussion opened lot of narratives from the audience about sexual violence what they saw in the society, in their neighborhood and in the counseling centers etc. The question raised here was with the notion of the commitment and marriage, difference between sex and rape and whole dichotomy which goes within the women about self and society. It’s very difficult for a lay woman to demarcate between sex and rape within the boundaries of the marriage. In the legislation also there is no law against rape within marriage. One of the suggestions came up strongly was that the woman should go for divorce, and in this context it was realized that she always gives priority to the society and family than to self. To get a divorce is also very difficult as only mutual constant between couple will provide justice to her. I personally feel Marriage makes a women vulnerable in these situations, there are different factors exist here and makes things complicated for her. Marriage identifies itself with the male than female and here she gives her self to the society.

The notion “commitment” is the most important thing whether it is the institution of marriage or a live-in relationship. A person in live in can come out of that relation when he/she is having the feeling of suffocation and in marriage this is difficult as family and children hold you back in doing so! Instead of leading the life in suffocation don’t you think it is better to come out of that life and lead ones life with respect and dignity? But is it possible for women to come out of the relationship and then lead a respectful life without becoming a victim of social expectations?

In the traditional closed tribal communities they don’t have the system called marriage. Men and women if they like each other they can begin to live together and if he breaks the commitment then she can go away from him and can lead her life with other person in the community. In tribal community the child goes with the mother. Although we tell them uncivilized but I feel they are more civilized than us in understanding the relationship. However this play was organized for men to get sensitized with the issues surrounding women, for women to think of empowering self to face the challenge and to lead life with dignity. Unfortunately by the time of discussion there were hardly few men in the audience. A question still remains is that these violations are happening in day to day life of the women. The degree and nature of violence is changing. So I am concerned as how will be her future….

Thanks to Mampi Bose and Tresa for sharing the views.